Crowning Glory!

FROM DECEMBER 28th

One day on the beach I spot some odd behavior among the gringos…. An older woman in a teeny weeny bikini, first smiling then snarling at herself, mirror in hand…strange?? She proceeds to lift her upper lip and examine her own teeth with intense interest…. Somewhat like examining the teeth of a horse (the analogy is not so far removed…. her chompers being exceedingly long and pearly!) … hmmm? Later in a café on the cliff I see a similar display among to males of the species…. Must be a local custom, I thought… until the next day, climbing to the cliff walk by a different route the truth is revealed! A sparkling new dental surgery offering all mod cons in dentistry for the discerning tourist. There seems to be a new trend in ‘toothy tourism’ …. ‘come lie on the beach, soak up the sun, fix a few fillings and cap a few crowns!’ You can even have your entire smile re-designed at half the price!
As it happens I’m in the market for a new crown myself, having chipped a tooth badly before leaving….. I decide to check it out. I step into a squeaky clean surgery, recline in the chair, feeling a little unnerved by not one but two indian dentists gazing into my open mouth jabbering away in Malayalum. Eventually…. ‘ Yes Madame, actually you need three crowns not one! Oh no, no, no! Much to their disappointment I finally bargain it down to the original one, then have a choice of Indian or finest German porcelain. Well what would you choose?? Not that I’ve any way of knowing! They say they can do it in 3 days ….. and they do! Despite my childhood fear of the drill they tell me it won’t hurt…. and it doesn’t! They’re a little heavy handed but when it costs $120 (including an ultrasonic cleaning!) instead of $1000 I can live with that. I leave with a promise that if my crown drops off I’ll send it back for someone else J and as soon as the others need doing I’ll be on the first plane to Kerala!
Later I read more about this new form of ‘Medical Tourism’ savvy europeans and americans get expensive medical tests and treatments like MRI’s, angioplasty or even cardiac surgery at short notice and a fraction of the cost in Kerala’s well equipped specialist centers. Tours of the future could read “ 7 nights on a house boat, quadrupal bypass surgery, ayurvedic rejuvenation, smile designing, cataract surgery and wilderness trekking!”